Losing a parent can easily be one of the most difficult events you'll ever endure; however, for the remaining parent, it can be even harder. The following information can help you navigate these tough, emotional times, with less worry for your surviving parent, knowing they'll be looked after.
Give Them Space
Initially, your parent may need more time and space to grieve than what you're comfortable with, but that's perfectly normal. They need to come to terms with the past, present and future, now that their partner is gone. No matter how much you might want to encourage them to get out and about, for the time being, give them their space and accept the adjustment they're going through.
Check In Often
Without pushing or presuming anything of your mom or dad, make sure you are frequently in contact with them, one way or another. If they're online and accessible via email, send a quick note every couple days; if calls are the only technical way to make contact, ring them once or twice a week, just to say "hello" and to see that everything is okay. As much as you are able with your busy life, in-person visits are also encouraged, both for their sake and yours.
Ask About Moving
Once your remaining parent has gone through the initial stages of grieving, if you think it might be helpful and accepted, bring up the possibility of moving. Maybe the house is too big, holds too many memories, or is otherwise simply not convenient anymore. A smaller dwelling, such as an apartment, might be more practical. You might also collectively discuss the benefits of assisted living, where your mother or father could be looked after without feeling as if they have given up all their privacy.
Talk To People In The Neighborhood
Especially if your parent has closed themselves off to the family since the passing of their partner, it's important for you to know how they're getting on with daily life. Talk to a neighbor to see if they're taking the daily walks, if that's something they should be doing, and whether or not your mom or dad is acting like their usual social self, be it very friendly or more impersonal. If social habits have taken a turn for the worse, it could be cause for concern. Either way, keeping up with neighbors is a helpful way to make sure your mum or dad is doing okay when you can't otherwise find out for yourself.
Consider In-Home Help
Even if it's only once a week or so, hiring someone to visit your aging parent is also a good way to ensure their health and well being. You could contact a senior healthcare services company, such as Senior Solutions of Long Island, Inc., to see what your parent qualifies for and what would be most recommended, under the circumstances. Senior services cover a lot of bases, from simple housekeeping to tending to more serious needs, such as medication and physical therapy. While your mom or dad may have been more active before the passing of their spouse, their life may slow down a lot now, either due to the emotional scarring or the simple fact that doing anything meant doing it together. If your parent is living a life quite different from when the other was alive, such as being very inactive or antisocial, professional intervention may be needed to ensure both physical and mental health at this time.
Losing a life-long partner or even one you were with for most of the later years in life is devastating in so many ways, and you and the rest of the family may not be able to really reach them anymore. The assistance they need now may only be temporary, due to the adjustments they're making, or it may be needed henceforth; that decision can be made through a collaborative decision, including you, other siblings and family members, your remaining parent and a representative of the senior service agency. They'll be able to offer you professional and personal insight into how your parent is doing from an experienced, caring perspective.
The road your family faces may be tough, now that you've all lost one parent, but for your remaining parent, you all must be strong and work together to make the decisions that will protect and care for them. Once that's done, though, you can all rest a little easier and worry a lot less.
