It is excruciating to watch a loved one sink into the depths of their mind. However, there are some things you can do to make this time easier for both of you. Here are seven of them.
1. Discuss plans with them early on. Before their disease progresses further, talk to them about what they would like you to do. When would they be willing to go to a facility? How often would they like to be visited? Is there anyone specific they want as their caregiver(s)? While they won't remember the conversation later, it will be much easier for you to make decisions when you have had those conversations with them.
2. Go through their belongings with them as soon as they are diagnosed. Help them choose which things are the most important to them so you can take those to the care facility when the time comes. Find out who they would like to give other items to. There will be some things you can do on your own later, but find out the most important things during a lucid time.
3. Get their will in order. It will become increasingly difficult for your loved one to make decisions to get their will and other legal documents in order as soon as you can. It is particularly important to know who your loved one would like to make medical decisions.
4. Choose a care facility. While your loved one may be fine on their own for awhile, eventually they will have to enter a facility like Valley View Retirement Community for their own safety. Tour a few with your loved one (if they are interested), and help them choose the one that will best fill their needs. If they can't tour, ask them which things are the most important to them and find a facility with those items.
5. Record their life story. Whenever your loved one is mentally present, ask them about their past. Sometimes it may be difficult to tell where they are in their memories (and if their memory is accurate), but record them just the same. You can fact check if you want, or just enjoy listening to the stories. When the person has passed on, you will enjoy reading what you wrote.
6. Make photo books. Both you and your loved one will enjoy looking at them together. Sometimes a picture may jog a memory and help them reconnect with you.
7. Sing songs. Music can often reach even the worst Alzheimer cases. Bring the songs that your loved one liked to listen to and play them often. You can also sing while looking into their eyes or holding their hand.
Remember that the person is still there, even if it is hard to connect with them. Plan ahead and then try new things as time passes. Your relationship will certainly change, but it can still remain strong through the years.
